Dear Dad, Well we are approaching the day that changed our lives forever. October has a new meaning to me now. Both you and Aunties birthdays, you both got sick this month, so sad. My favorite season has always been the fall, it is so different now. It brings such sadness. The leaves turning and falling to the ground, the change in the air. It just shows you how life changes and the seasons change and you never ever know what is next. I know you were not in the best of health and you knew it too. We knew there was going to be complications in the future. We just never realized how bad it was. You never think someone is going to actually die. When Auntie passed away you were a trooper, helping Mom cope with it and helping Uncle get through it. None of us knew you were going to be next. I look back and always think, what did I miss? what should I have been looking for? could I have done something to stop this? so many regrets.. I wish you never went to Lawrence General. I am sorry you had to die in that hospital. I know you hated that place. I hate that place too. I wish we took you too Anna Jaques. Would you still be here? You may have been safer there. We thought we were doing the right thing. If we had only knew.
I remember sitting on the porch in MAy of 07' and you telling me you were not going to be here forever, I remember you saying that to me and I was so mad for you even saying something like that. At that point you had less than a year left. I think back and wonder if you knew, if you were feeling like your time was coming. I don't know, I have so many thought going through my mind. I just wanted to again let you know, I love you and I miss you...everyday always.
It is October, and all I can think about is that terrible day.
Dad, I did a crazy thing today, I opened up my recipe box! I went through it and found your secret recipe for the best American Chop suey. As I read it I could vividly remember the night you gave it to me. It was all in your head, and as you spoke, I wrote, and now reading it again, I realize it is worded just as you said it. I could hear your voice giving me instructions still. It made me sad, but it also made me realize I have not once tried this recipe. I am ready to do it now, in honor of you. (Not that it will come close to tasting like yours!) Love, Meagan
Hi Dad, Today is my Birthday and it is really sad because it is my first birthday without you. I never thought that I would be without my Dad this early in my life. I really missed not being able to request my very own special dinner that you would make me every year. I realize how much I took that for granted over the years.
I remember last year I wasn't really sure what I wanted, and I said chicken and vegetables and you whipped up this amazing meal that everyone loved! And then Mom of course made my favorite angel food cake..yum! You two made such a great team with your chef skills and her baking skills, no wonder why everyone always loved eating at our house!
Dad, I really miss not hearing your greeting as I walk in the door at home, you'd always say "Hi Darling!" You always called all your girls "darling", that word has a special place in my heart now, everytime I hear it I immediately can hear you in my mind saying it to me.
Today I will not only miss your greeting when I go home, but I will also miss hearing you wish me a happy birthday.
I love and miss you Dad.
Love, Tash
Dad, i have now come to truely feel what it means when you say something is bittersweet.For me it is autumn. I get so happy because it is my favorite season but i am so sad because it always reminds me of you. I remember last year going to see you after halloween and i told you about my night in salem and how i dressed up as halloween. This year i might be Olive Oil, but i'm not too sure. I like her because she reminds me of that time we watched popeye together (the one with robin williams) when i was little. I love and miss you very much
Love your ana banana
