The sun grows stronger, the snow melts away
It is time for you to come back,
Can you come see me today?
It feels like you are on a long trip,
the end coming with the spring thaw
But I am mistaken,
because you will not be coming home at all.
Dear Dad, I was driving today and that pearl Jam song came on, the one "oh where oh where can my baby be, the lord took her away from me, she's gone to heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world..." I know someone else sang it before Pearl Jam and that is why you liked it so much. Anyway at first, I was so happy to hear it, then I started remembering you singing in the backyard with your guitar at you and Mom's anniversay party, then I remembered you singing it at your 60th b-day party and then I remembered I had you sing it when you were at northeast rehab. You were so cute when you were there. You were so patient and sweet and lovable. You always let me give you Reiki without complaining. Anyway, when all these memories flooded back, it made me cry so much. So many things make me think of you. I miss you so so much, I don't know why this gets harder everyday, I guess that is how it is.
Love, Meagan
Dear Dad,
Everyday I think of something else that I will miss about you. You were such a special Dad. You were always helping me do things, fixing things for me, taking care of Michael for me. I always knew you were there and I took it for granted. I was so lucky to have you so close and in my life so much. I am glad I got to come hoe and see you everyday, eat your home cooked meals. We shared so many memories. You always made me feel so special, I always felt like you placed me on a pedistal. Selfishly...I am going to miss that feeling. I was always trying to make you proud of me. It was always something I though of...what would Dad think. Sometimes I will think for minute, what would Dad think and then it hits me..Dad is not here anylonger. Dad will not be able to make you feel special again. I always wanted to make you feel special, I wanted to give you so much. We loved to throw you your Birthday parties, we always had so much fun! Everyone loved to get together to celebrate your birthday, fathers day, you and moms anniversary. We always wanted to make sure each one was better than the last. I wish I could have given you more. I wish you could have had some time off and did not have to worry financially. I wish I had worked harder to make it so you could have had time to relax. It is not fair that you had to work up until your death. Life is so unfair sometimes.
Dear Dad, I think about you all the time. I had a dream last night. You were not in it but your voice was. I was on the phone looking for Mom and you kept telling me she was with you and not coming home. You kept saying she was staying to take care of you. I do not know what that means. I know Mom would do anything to have you back to take care of you. Maybe that is why I dreamt it. Mom misses you so much and I think about that all the time too.
I was thinking about your popcorn today, I will miss your "homemade" popcorn. I used to love that stuff!
Mom and I visited your grave today. We enjoy going to visit it on Sundays. It is always nice and peaceful when we are there. Although today we heard a woodpecker. I almost was wondering if it was a sign from you. Maybe.
Well I am off to bed now. I hope you visit me in my dreams tonight. It is something I wish for often. I love you Dad, I know I can not get you back but at least I can still have you visit me in my dreams. If this is all I can have then I will take it. I miss you dearly. Love, Phae
