Victor Albert Gaouette - Online Memorial Website

1/5/09 I just want to share the unbelievable experience I had saturday which happend to be the 1 year anniversary of dad's passing. I went to a "Journey with Spirit" class with well known medium, Vincent Barra from CA. Mom's name was picked from a hat to answer any question she had and immediately dad appeared a couple rows back. (Vincent told me later). He was standing there displaying his work boots on his feet in a proud manner. Vincent said "he is showing me boots with holes in them". This is so significant because Dad LOVED his boots with holes. The day before I spoke with dad and asked him to come through on this day and share something that we would undoubtably know it was him. What else is more perfect than his boots that he wore every single day, even when it was 90 degrees out. He loved those boots. Then Vincent asked mom " where are the boots?" and my mom said we buried him in them. Vincent said Dad was thanking her for that. Then Dad showed Vincent an image of mom wiping his mouth and he said, "He is thanking you for taking such good care of him, he is showing you cleaning his mouth". This was significant because when dad was at rehab he needed help eating and mom always wiped his mouth for him. THEN he showed vincent his gleaming, white, perfect teeth and so Vincent asked "did he have a chipped tooth or something?" and mom said, no well he did not take very good care of his teeth, and he lost most of them. Vincent said "Well he wants you to know they are all back now, he is restoring himself". Then we did a special meditation where we could meet with a passed over loved one.  I saw dad and he told me things that I could not have made up. I asked him if he knew he was going to die. He said he knew it was coming because he had not been eating well. Mom confirmed the last few months before his stroke he did not eat dinner much at all. His stomach always bothered him. He also said the vices of his life, took a toll on his body, and it was his time to go. Physically, he could not live anymore. He also told me to tell Annie he listens to Johnny cash with her alot. (Ana later confirmed she listens to Johnny and thinks of dad). He also wanted Tash to know she needs to stop working out so much. The image of him was clear as day, I saw his blue jeans, boots and a button up flannel. I saw and felt his beard. I could hear his voice, I could feel him when he gave me a hug good bye. It was the most beautiful, amazing experience I will never forget....just knowing our loved ones are watching over us, and not nearly as far away as we may think. If we just open our heart and listen, we will hear them.

1/3/2009
It is crazy that it has now been a year since you left our lives, This year went by so fast and now that we have experienced every holiday, birthday and everyday in between it only seems sadder to me. I always hear people say "it takes time" but I wonder what they mean when they say this because every family get-together we have whether it is a birthday, holiday or just hanging around the house I can't help but think "This would be soo much better if Dad was here". I am constantly recognizing the fact that you are no longer in my life, it has been soo long since I've seen you. It sounds crazy but in the back of my mind I always think that I am going to see you somewhere, like you are still in this world somewhere and I just have to find you.....maybe I just want to pretend you are still here..or maybe it gives my sub-conscious peace of mind ..?  I remember going to the hospital this day and never expecting that they would tell us you weren't going to make it, so I think it that is why it came even more so as a shock to me. I just remember all of us looking at each other a little bit confused, as if it was a dream. What were we going to do without our Dad? This couldn't be happening..? Who was going to cook our thanksgiving dinner, and christmas and -eveyday?! Who would we go to if we needed to borrow a screw gun to hang a picture in our house? Who would I call if my car wouldn't start...
Soo many things ran through my mind. I remember immediately being mad at the hospital, I still blame them for everything that went wrong. We put our trust and faith in them when we were completely helpless in the situation.
Where ever you are Dad, I know that you are okay, and you are looking over all of us. I miss you, Love Tash

12/10/08

Dear Dad,

Everyday this month I have woken and thought of you first and what was going on a year ago this month. It is such a painful memory I don't know why I try to recall it. I had this day off. I had just come back from a weekend at Rindge NH getting reiki II certified. I thought for sure the additional attunements I received would help you get better. I was so eager to practice on you and make you well again. I never do practice much anymore. It always makes me think of you when I give Reiki. I wish I could have helped you more, sooner...maybe we could have prevented the stroke. But I know, if it was your time, it was your time and no one can change that. I miss you so much. Please come visit me in a dream or at Circles, I am always looking for a sign. Love, Meagan

Dear Papa, I don't recall exactly when I started calling you my pet name for you, PAPA. It was a term of endearment that just somehow evolved. Instead of Sweetie or Honey, I called you PAPA and it just fit you so well....Oh PAPA,just checking in with you as I sit here alone remembering past Halloweens - you making a huge batch of hot dog stew and then barricading yourself in your shop with a six-pack of beer sometimes making a phone call to your old buddy Rodney...Happy Halloween, PAPA...miss you dearly, Love, Susan

Dad, It is hard to believe It was this month last year that changed the family forever. Everything is different without you here. You really kept the family happy and together and I really miss that soo much. As much as I try not to think about it, the week before your stroke plays over and over again in my head. I just think "why didn't I know?.. Why didn't I take more time from what I was busy with? Why did it happen then?".. I remember I was very busy trying to get ready to have Liz over for dinner. I was running through the house looking for mom on that sunny Friday afternoon and I saw you laying on the couch in the living room with you feet up. It semmed different to me. I just wish I had spent some more time to slow down and talk. Later I needed help to cook asperigus and you let me borrow your special asperigus cooker. You were busy down in the workshop late that night. I remember Liz and I were finally eating dinner after dark out on the patio when you came up to the backdoor and waved out to us. That was the last time Liz saw you before your stroke. On saturday I was so busy It was a blurr. I ended up going out late and meeting up with Tash and Sean. When I got the call that morning I  Knew something was wrong- I could hear the ambulence out front. Ana was crying telling me she had just helped you get out to the porch with mom. I rushed to get ready and had to hang up on Ana to take Phae's call. I remember that and it really bothers me. We will never know, but I cant stop asking why did It happen that morning? I remember how hard you had been working on the highboy. That summer you said to me "I have to finish something nice before I go." It bothered me when i heard it. I just refused to think that would really happen anytime soon. It makes me wonder if you somehow knew you were running out of time. I wish I knew as well. Most upsetting to me of all, is that you left the house that sunday morning and never came home again. That is so sad to me. I know how much it meant to you to be working in your shop that took so many years to build. It seems painfully unfair that your work went unfinished. Your tools sit the way you left them. A coat of dust now covers them and the shop no longer smells like fresh wood like it used to. It is very hard for me right now to go down there because of all the questions for you I am left with. It is very painfull that I can never again just ask you. Dad you were always there for me when I needed help and I am sorry i never told you enough what a great dad you were. I miss you. Love Ike