Dear Dad, Well, we are on our third week of Todd Farm. It is still a struggle to go on without you. I know this sounds funny but I get satisfaction carrying on the Todd Farm Legacy. I feel somewhat close to you when I am there because I know what Todd Farm meant to you and mom. I like seeing your friends and being able to share memories. I like the feeling las if you are there with us watching over the sale. I feel like I become more and more like you each time. :)
I miss coming home and cooking something together, reminising on the long hard day. Now it is so different. No one is around, no one wants to hang out. Everyone always has there own agenda. Maybe it was always like this but I just did not realize it cause you and mom were always around. You were always here on the weekends, loading up the truck with something nice you had been working on all week long...trying to hide it from me so I would not make you give it to me!! I miss the jingle of your keys when you would be out in the driveway. I miss the sound of the truck starting on Saturday morning..you would always take it out for a drive first to get the water out of the back. Then you would come home to load up and drop it off at Todd.
Well enough memories for tonight...just remember, we all love you so dearly and miss you so very much. I know you are better now and I am glad you are not suffering. I have many, many wonderful memories. You were a great dad and grandfather. Michael is so lucky to have been able to get to know you and remember what a special grandfather he had. You always treated him so special. He cherishes all the things you did for him, all the little special gifts you gave him. Someday he will really understand everything and know how much he meant to you. I love you, Dad...goodnight
Dear Dad,
Today was the first sale at Todd Farm without you and it was so, so sad walking up to that truck and not seeing you there. I had a dream about you last night. I was looking at a picture of you and grampa (your dad) and all of a sudden you both started to move and kind of play a sort of cherades for me. You were trying to relay a message to me through your movements but I could not make it out and woke up before I could see more. I hope you come back to my dreams again and tell me what you were trying to say. I love you, I miss you so much. Love, Meagan
OH Victor, I still can't believe you're gone. I still expect to hear the jingle of your
keys the squeek of your cellar door. Now there's only silence. I'm trying to find my way in this uncertain journey through life without you but it is so hard. You've always been by my side and now I'm so lost. There is no joy, only sadness. I ask myself "How can this be?' I have no answer. I can't believe I was so blind and unaware of how special our life together was. I feel like I wasted precious moments that I should have savored. Oh Victor, I'll pray for you. Please watch over me. I love you and I'll never forget you. Love, Susan
Dear Dad,
St. Patty's day was so sad without you. It was a nice sunny day but it was so sad. I kept thinking about your yummy boiled dinners and Mom's soda bread. It is just not the same without you. Love, Meagan
Dear Dad, It seems that some days actually get harder. You are in my thoughts always. Every day I wake up and think...is it real, did this really happen, is my Dad gone forever? I think sometimes I fool myself and think you will be back someday. It seems like you are just on a trip somewhere and you will be back. It doesn't feel real. I have to remember everyday that it is real and you are gone. Then I cry and cry and cry. I would do anything to have you back home. My heart is broken forever. The house is not the same. It is so lonely without you. My security of having you here is gone. It is so scary, I am afraid with out you here. Who is going to help me with the house. Who is going to help me when I need to fix something. What am I going to do when something goes wrong and you are not here to tell me what I need to do. Whenever I needed a tool, you had it. Whenever I needed an ingredient, you had it. And I would always seem to bother you right at the wrong moment. You would grumble but whatever I needed if you had it you would get it for me. I always knew you would help me or get what ever it was even though I was being a pain in the butt. I will miss all those times. I am so sad to think you can not help me anymore. Thanks for helping me when you were here. I did not tell you enough. I love you and miss you Dad. I hope you are resting in peace. LOVE, Phae
